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First Year Living In Croatia: I Came Up Empty
We pulled up into the driveway, tired and hungry. It had been over 40 hours since we departed Sydney and arrived in our sleepy little village in rural Croatia.
I looked into my then 9-month-olds eyes, and told myself “that sick feeling in your stomach is from being sleep deprived, and not self-doubt”.
But I knew I was lying…
Fast forward twelve months. Yes, twelve, count them. One, two, three… okay let’s not. You get my point.
52 weeks ago we packed our bags, boarded the plane and left behind family and friends. My blackened, puffy, swollen eyes, were evident when I approached the mirror at the airport.
I’d had many sleepless nights, and cried many tears in the days leading up to my flight from the sunny skies of Sydney, Australia to the even sunnier skies of Croatia. And now, I can hardly believe that I have been living in Croatia for a year.
We had a dream, a wish, a yearning for something different. We wanted to seek out a new adventure, and although it seemed like the right thing to do – that is move across the globe. I wondered, how could we be sure?
Can I do this? What have we done? Oh God, what have I got myself into? Am I really living in Croatia?
We could not be sure; only time would tell. So we said our goodbyes and let time pass by. And so far, it’s been good. It’s far too early to know if this is our forever home – we hope so of course, but as in life with all things, there are no guarantees.
So What Have I Learned In My First Twelve Months Of Living In Croatia?
Honestly and embarrassingly, I feel I have let myself down in this regard. On reflection this past week I came up empty.
I could not think of anything meaningful to say. I honestly thought I would, but I was blank, nothing sprang to mind. I figured I just needed to think about it some more. So I thought and thought. Yet, still, my mind was blank.
A few days passed, and I was interviewed by a Croatian journalist about my life as the foreigner living in Croatia. He asked me to describe how I have changed since living here…crickets. There was an awkward silence on the call.
I could not think of anything meaningful to say.
After apologizing to him, I did offer one thought; that after 12 months of residing here I knew we were on the right path. Living in Croatia, even with the bureaucracy of the Croatian system, the never ending delays to the house, and the fact that we are still no closer to Mr. Chasing the Donkey having a job in Croatia, that things were as they should be.
He seemed unimpressed. And I hated myself for a short moment. That is until I realized that although not profound or life-changing, knowing that we were in the right place was enough for me.
Picking up your life as you know it, and living or traveling far away from your family and friends is hard.
Delving into your thoughts about how that experience has changed you is even more difficult, at least it is for me. So I spent a few days pushing myself to come up with something I had learned about myself. I needed to, so I could see if this time next year anything else had changed. After much reflection, this is what I have learned;
I Get More Lonely Than I Ever Thought I Would
I have never been one always to need to be around people. My best friends back in Australia will tell you that I can go weeks or months without speaking to them. They’ll also tell you; I love to be in my Pj’s and stay home for days on end.
Here, I realize just how much I miss picking up that phone when I feel like it. The timezone changes mean that speaking to family or friends via phone or Skype has a limited window of opportunity.
When that window closes, and I miss it, I feel much more lonely than I ever thought I would. In all honesty, I have cried on a few occasions, but I have never thought that I wanted to go home.
I Care More About What People Think Of Me As A Person
Not in how I look, or dress, but rather than I am seen to be trying to ‘fit in’. I wear what may as well be a neon sign around my neck that says foreigner, the freckles and my new reddish hair color screams foreigner, and as I explained to the journalist, I often feel like an animal in the zoo.
People look and stare, they know I am not from around here, and they are curious. So I want to as much as possible, fit in. I would never have thought that about myself in my old life. To fit in, I don’t lie or cheat, but I do work hard at understanding the social norms and asking questions about what is and is not acceptable in certain situations.
For the most part, those things are the same as they are back in Australia, but I still have the urge to find out – to avoid a big faux-pax.
I Value The Dollar More
The currency in Croatia is the Kuna, and boy do I appreciate it more than I did 365 days ago. With Croatian monthly salaries being less than what I used to earn weekly, I am very aware of how far people here must make each purchase go.
Nothing goes to waste. Items are not replaced willy nilly. Christmas time is not a pile of plastic gifts from China with mountains of torn paper. I have never ever spent so little on new clothes, bags, and shoes.
I have never skipped nail, hair or beauty treatments for the sake of my bank account. Here I do often.
Having realized this, I wonder how I would be able to go if I was back in Australia, could I still forgo these things? I am not sure, but I don’t think so, I feel there that the pressure is too high.
I am sure there must be more, I just can’t think of any. I feel like I am hiding something deep within myself, let’s see if I can find out before two years of living in Croatia passes me by.
If you’re an expat or long term traveler, what did you learn about yourself along the way?
If you are planning on becoming an expat, you’ll find this great list of resources compiled by fellow expat Farrah super useful.
Other Living In Croatia Posts
- 12 Months Living In Croatia
- 5 Years Living In Croatia
- 6 Years Living In Croatia
- What To Expect Moving To Croatia
- 2018 G2 Diaspora Conference
I asked other expats and long term travelers what they learned about being away from the place called ‘home’. Here is what they said.
My family and I are quickly approaching the two-year mark of our first expat contract. We’ve found the Netherlands to welcome us as Americans so well- we recently decided to stay an additional three years. What I (and we) have learned being away from home is that first and foremost home is where you make it and who you’re with. Being an expat doesn’t make the reality of life disappear. Being an expat illuminates the traits that you already possess and makes them more vibrant. A friend once told me that to be a successful expat, you can bloom where you’re planted. I’m happy to say that my little family and I make quite the garden. Farrah, The Three Under
After having spent almost a year as an expat, I’ve learned a few important lessons; culture shock is real, home is not a particular place. The US isn’t “THE best”, and there’s no replacement for Reeses’ Peanut Butter Cups! I’ve faced my own insecurities and come to terms with what it is like to be an immigrant – something that will forever alter my life view. I wouldn’t change this experience for anything, and while I don’t think there’s anything more I could have done to prepare, the hard parts were much harder than I ever could have imagined. I’m so grateful to have had a partner who was able to navigate the difficulties and understand what I was going through. Amanda, MarocMama
The biggest thing I learned about myself during long-term travel was to trust myself – Trust my instincts, trust my preparation, trust my communication skills… trust everything! My long trips did wonders for my self-confidence, and I have always returned home feeling more self-reliant, self-confident and self-assured. Sharon, Where’s Sharon
When I arrived in Mexico last December after almost 24 months of being away, I began to understand fully how much traveling has of what we have here in my land instead of taking it for granted as I always did before. When my feet touched the sandy shore of the Acapulco Bay for the first time in years, tears ran down my face as I remembered the beaches I visited abroad and how I’ve always ignored the beauty of my hometown. Some people say traveling makes you richer, others than moving makes you smarter. Me? I must say that travel has made me more humble. Raphael, A Journey of Wonders.
After being away from home for nearly two years, I can say that I learned quite a bit about myself. I’ve always been a naturally quieter person. After diving into a foreign culture and language, I found out that I actually can handle awkward situations better than I thought! I’ve had several awkward cultural moments or language barrier issues, but I was proud of myself for handling them with a little bit of grace and charm and didn’t let them affect me. I guess I don’t get as embarrassed as I used to! Samantha, My Tanfeet
Sometimes, when you think you want one thing, you’ll end up getting another, and it’s going to be the best thing that happened to you. I never wanted to leave Poland, but here I am in the Netherlands, with a husband who is from yet somewhere else. And I feel like I belong here. I’ve never belonged anywhere, but I feel at home here. Olga, The European Mama
Living away from home and all the comforts of family and familiarity, I have learned that all people are the same no matter where they live. Instead of worrying about strangers, I am the stranger and love to meet people wherever I roam. While traveling, I rely on the kindness of strangers quite a bit. I don’t hesitate to ask the person sitting next to me on the park bench where the best restaurant for home-cooked food is found. I love to jump out of my car to meet the man driving his donkey cart down through the middle of town, or start up a conversation while photographing the tea-picking ladies. Corinne, Reflections Enroute
Traveling in a foreign land long-term helped bring me a new perspective about what’s imperative in life. It also forced me to leave my comfort zone I’d known my whole life to learn a knew language, discover a new culture, eat different foods, and to interact with people whose lives are very different from my own. I now know that I can spend time apart from familiar faces and places and not only survive, but thrive. James, Escaping Abroad
By living abroad for the last eight years I’ve learned to be way more self-reliant and believe in myself. There were many situations in which I thought I could have been helped out, but things did not work out. I’ve also taught myself how to flexible and courageous. I’ve learned to take advantage of every amazing opportunity that presents itself trying not to be scared. Also, I guess by not having a stable home – sharing a room when on a budget, I have become able to sleep under any circumstances. There could be a party going on around me, and I can sleep peacefully. Anna, Anna Everywhere
After three years in Poznan, there’s a part of Poland that I want to take home with me. My life here is simpler and richer. That might sound like a contradiction, but it’s not. We get by with a lot less stuff. Life moves at a slower pace. There is more time for connecting with people. It’s OK to stop and smell the roses; it’s expected. There’s time for relaxation and sport, and that’s expected too. Can this attitude be incorporated into my life in the States or will it be like trying to swim upstream? Only time will tell. Lois, Polish HousewifeShare