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Learn Croatian: Croatian Swear Words Part Three
Back by popular demand are Croatian Swear words. We’ve been living here for three years now, and we’ve come across some absolute gut-busters. In part three of Learn Croatian – Swearing we will leave our poor mother’s vagina’s alone, I mean how many different ways can we swear about our mother’s nether regions, part two covered that just fine. Instead, we’ll explore some more of the obscure, a few classics and the intricacies of the Croatian penis curses.
Look away now if you are easily offended.
As we have said previously, Croatians have an interesting and colorful way of expressing themselves especially when it comes to cursing. If you directly translate them to English, they seem nonsensical. However, most of them have an origin and deeper meaning which is not understood when directly translated.
We have also decided to share some of the curse words that our readers sent through to us – so don’t judge us… judge them. We picked what we felt were the best and most appropriate and steered well clear of the religious curses. We are in enough trouble as it is with these posts without heading into that territory. Thanks to everyone who sent through suggestions. Here goes;
Learn Croatian: Croatian Swear Words Part Three
Ma, Tko te Jebe
Who f*cks you? I hope someone will! This is best used when someone is really pissing you off. How this translates is who gives a f*ck about you. Ouch I am thinking you can use this one often – right?
Jebeš me u Zdrav Mozak
You f*ck me in my healthy brain. Really better explained as brain f*cking. Used when somebody is pissing you off, telling you or asking you something idiotic or super annoying. Perhaps you can mutter this one under your breath when the Mrs. is giving you a hard time – just don’t let her hear you.
Jebem mu Miša
I f*ck your mouse. What? Did you just say mouse f*cking? OMG, now we’ve heard it all! It’s a phrase that’s used when you have an oops moment, like when you drop and smash a glass.
Where the wolves f*ck. This means the middle of nowhere – you know like think of the farthest place you can think of. A place where the wolves would not get caught by anyone doing the nasty. In Australia, we would say you are in the middle of woop-woop, or they live out in Timbuktu.
Jebem ti sreću
I f*ck your luck. God, I just hate it when my luck gets f*cked, especially at the casino. Don’t you? This means when someone has bad luck or misfortune. An example would be when your friend shares a sad story with you about something that happened to him, and you would express how you feel his pain by using “Jebem ti sreću.”
Jebi sliku svoju
F*ck your own picture. One would think that Croatian’s are pretty kinky – but it’s not the case. This relates to people who are very into themselves. You know, we all know THAT person. I guess you could call them vain. If you love yourself so much, go and f*ck your own picture.
Good pizza / pussy. Sorry ladies, I don’t mean to offend you – but you know I probably just did huh? I know Mrs. Chasing the Donkey hates this trashy type of talk, but this blog post is for educational purposes. This is slang for an attractive woman, and, also literally means a good pizza. Don’t mix them up or you could get in trouble.
Old worn out thing or piece of fabric. The leader of the Catholic Church in Bosnia, Cardinal Vinko Puljić recently brought this word to my attention after recently stating that women who have sexual relations before marriage, could become a štraca. So why is it so bad? What is a štraca after all? As you can see the official translation isn’t so bad but this word has another unofficial meaning. Well, it’s an old worn out prostitute, slapper and hag, all those lovely things. Nice one Cardinal! Are you a štraca? You can join the rest of the štraca community here.
What are you pussying? This one seems completely nonsensical but isn’t. The word pizdiš comes from the word pizda which is another word for pussy. It’s an obscene way of telling someone “what the hell are you crapping on about” or what are you upset or whining about.
Ne Čini Pizdarije
Don’t do pussy business. This has nothing to do with trying to set up a brothel or becoming a pimp. It means don’t do something stupid, don’t make a mess (depending on the context). For example, your father may say to you before going out with a group of friends who he knows are a bit wild, Ne čini pizdarije.
What are you sh*tting? We all know that person who continually spews verbal diarrhea. This is exactly what you need to say to them in Croatian. Meaning you’re talking sh*t! However, they will probably be very offended if you do so.
Nabit cu te na Kurac
I will impale you on my d*ck. Ouch, ouch ouch, that hurts my d*ck just thinking about it. That all sounds rather violent. This is usually used when somebody wants to let you know that he is “the stronger opponent” in a given situation. Instead of saying I will defeat you, you say I will impale you on my man parts!
Ajde u Kurac
Go in the d*ck. This has to be one of the most common curses used across the country, and it’s a Croatian classic. Can be used to express frustration, or in a”get outta here” moment as well as “f*ck off” type situation.
Koji mu je Kurac?
What the d*ck is with him? I’ve worked with many di*ck’s, and this phrase would have come in handy back then. It means what’s going on with him or what is his problem?
Na Koji Kurac Sam Mislio?
On what d*ck was I thinking?. For those days when you just think about d*ck! Just kidding, it means, what the hell have I been thinking or can be used when you can’t remember what you wanted to say?
Koji si ti Kurac?
What d*ck are you? I would say I’m a medium sized d*ck. What about you? Nah, it means, Who the f*ck are you? Who the f*ck do you think you are? So, who the f*ck do you thin you are??
Za Koji Kurac?
For what d*ck? The last in this series of Croatian co*k curses means what the hell for. You know like, what the hell would I drive across town to pick you up at 3 am for?
There we have it. Are you offended by any of these Croatian swear words?
- Useful phrases for your Croatian Vacation
- Learn how to say (?) in Croatian
- Croatian Swear Words Part One and Croatian Swear Words Part Two
- Croatian Language Tips
If you want to find out about learning Croatian via Skype classes as we do, our teacher has a few places opening up. We can connect you, just fill in the details below.